Will Grayson First Talks to Isaac
by KodiakFangirl
Summary: We all know that Isaac turns out to me Maura, but even then how did Will start talking to "him"


Mimi Ginsburg

Will Grayson, Will Grayson Extra Chapter

i hear my alarm go off. i don't want to do this. not another day. it's not going to be good. why would it? no day ever is. i groan and turn off the alarm. even if it's not going to be a good day i have to go through it, i know that. not because anything important will happen, i mean it's just school, but i gotta go. mostly for my mom. i don't care what happens to me, but she does and i care about her, so i gotta at least try to do normal things, so she won't worry.

i walk over to my fish tank to take my pills. i think they work. i'm not exactly happy, or happy at all for that matter, but despite how much i think about it, i haven't actually killed myself yet, so they must do something and i don't want to see how much worse things could get if i stopped. while i'm over there i feed my goldfish, and i realize that my meds don't just keep me alive, but them too, because without my meds as my daily reminder, there's no way i'd actually think to feed them.

i see all my clothes on the floor of my closet and just pull on the closest black shirt and black jeans, because who gives a damn what i wear, least of all me. i wolf down a bowl of cereal and mostly ignore my mom's attempt at small talk, because i'm in no mood to oblige her right now and i wouldn't know what to say anyways. i always feel bad for her. with dad gone i'm all she's got, and i'm really not great. i know that, and she knows that, but neither of us will say it. sometimes i really try for her, because i do care about her and shit, but i can't really do that all the time.

when i get to school i see maura. we started talking a bit ago. i don't think i'd really call us friends, but she hates the world almost as much as i do, so i guess that's why i keep her around. that, and the fact that she lets me steal her coffee pretty much every morning. we start off with out usual complaining and i head to class. she was pretty good to have around at first, but i've realized lately that she is interested in me, and it makes me almost wish i never talked to her in the first place. i didn't realize it at first, but it became clear when we started IMing.

i have always tried to make it clear that i don't see her that way and that it won't happen, but she won't give up or maybe doesn't realize either. we do have stuff in common, you know: hating the world, wanting to kill people, and all that, but i don't see her that way and i won't. even if it weren't the case i don't think i would like her, but the fact is, i'm pretty sure i'm gay. now don't go grab a fucking rainbow flag for me or anything. i am not ready to be out and i might never be ready. i haven't even had a crush on a guy or anything, but i just kind of know, ya know?

i space out all during class thinking about how much i hate the world and all the ways i could kill people in this room. don't worry i won't actually do it, but it's just where my mind wanders, so whatever. i don't really worry that the teacher will call on me, cuz they never do. they leave me alone pretty much. i occasionally try to pay attention, but school is just so boring and when am i going to need to know about stuff like trigonometry and who the 6th president was anyways? never, that's when. finally it's lunch time. i don't exactly have any real friends or anything, but i sit with simon and derek during lunch, so at least i don't sit alone. mostly they keep to themselves and don't make me talk too much, but they do ask the occasional question.

simon: hey grayson, could you join the mathleets team with us?

me: why?

derek: well we lost a member to graduation at the end of last year and if we don't have four then we can't participate

me: i'm not that great at math guys

simon: you're not bad either and you honestly don't even need to do anything. you just gotta show up. don't worry about even answering any of the questions if you don't want to.

me: i don't know guys

derek: please? come on grayson it's like a once in a while commitment and all you gotta do is come along. we're not asking much

me: fine guys, alright

simon: thanks man

i just nod and they go back to talking to each other and leave me alone for the rest of lunch.

after school i see maura and complain to her, but she just tells me i'm a loser and a little more social interaction won't kill me. i get annoyed, so i just leave and head to work. i hate working at a cvs, but mom and i need the money. it's a mindless job so it's not that different than school. after work i go home and start on my homework. i get halfway done when i get an IM from maura. i ignore it and go back to work. at eight i get an IM from a new person with the screenname boundbydad. i don't usually answer random messages, especially not from creepy screennames like that, but i was very bored so i wrote back

boundbydad: hello

finalwill: hello?

boundbydad: sorry to message a random person, but i'm bored

finalwill: i'm bored too, but i don't message random people, especially people with creepy names like yours

boundbydad: yeah my name is kin of creepy, but it wouldn't let me put ultimatelymydadchosetokillthegoatinsteadofme

finalwill: okay i guess that's less creepy

boundbydad: my real name is isaac

finalwill: okay

boundbydad: so, why is your name what it is?

finalwill: because my name is will

boundbydad: okay. tell me about yourself

finalwill: i hate life

boundbydad: that's relatable. where are you from?

finalwill: are you going to track me down?

boundbydad: no i'm not a stalker. i'll go first. i live in ohio

finalwill: okay i live outside chicago

i don't know why i agreed to talk to him at first, but we kept talking for several more hours. it turned out we were the same age and we hated the same stuff and of the little stuff i liked, so did he. i we finally signed off around midnight. by that time we had already swapped pictures and i had my first real crush. it was so weird. i had been wrong that morning. it was a different day. i found something that actually made me happy. i hoped we would keep talking and i was pretty sure we would.

i woke up the next morning expecting to be happy, but i wasn't. i took my pills and realized i did fine something that made me happy, but it was my one light spot in my otherwise dark life. i did have something to look forward to, but i still had to get through the shit of the rest of my life too. i spent the day scribbling the name isaac in my notebook and thinking about him and couldn't wait until i could talk to him again.

that night while i waited for him to come on maura messaged me multiple times. i decided the only person i wanted to IM was isaac, so i created a new account, added him and deleted my old one. he came on at around 8 again

boundbydad: you made a new account?

grayscale: i don't really want to talk to anyone else on here, so yeah

boundbydad: cool

that was how it started with isaac and me. that was how i found the one happy thing in my life.


End file.
